The ASRV Fiendish Quarantine Quiz – Part Three

person kicks soccer ball in field
Photo by Zac Frith on

CB writes…

Inspired by Leicester City’s memorable and comprehensive 9-0 Premier League demolition of Southampton in October 2019, this final part of the ASRV Fiendish Quarantine Quiz is all about high-scoring games. There seem to have been a lot of these in the last few years – you’ll find most of them here, alongside some real classics from the past!

As usual, you can comment here or tweet me with your answers. Parts One and Two of the ASRV Fiendish Quarantine Quiz are here and here. Watch out for the results of all three quizzes coming soon!

And in the meantime, my dear readers, I hope you are all staying safe and staying at home…

1) We’ll start with the grandaddy of all thrashings – the famous 1885 first-round Scottish Cup match between Arbroath and Bon Accord. The scoreline is still technically the largest winning margin in the professional game – what was it?

2) On the same day as Arbroath played Bon Accord, and less than twenty miles away, another high-scoring Cup match was played out between Dundee Harp and Aberdeen Rovers. What was the official final score there?

3) Prior to the 2019 Southampton v Leicester game, scoring nine for no reply had only happened once before in the Premier League. That was back in 1995 when poor old Ipswich Town were on the receiving end of a thrashing meted out by which club?

4) Leicester’s Ayoze Perez and Jamie Vardy each scored a hat-trick that October night, another event that had only happened on one previous occasion in the EPL. That was in May 2003, when Arsenal beat Southampton (yep, them again!) 6-1. Who scored those two hat-tricks for the Gunners?

5) In November 2009, Tottenham Hotspur put nine past Wigan Athletic in the Premier League. Which (still active) highly prolific goalscorer and much-loved modern Spurs legend scored five in that game, including bagging a hat-trick in only seven minutes?

6) Almost fifty years earlier, in February 1960, Spurs won an FA Cup tie 13-2. This remains their all-time record win, although I am sure the opposition would rather forget the experience! Who did they comprehensively knock out of the Cup in this game?

7) During the 2019 Women’s World Cup in France, the United States beat Thailand by a record-breaking 13 goals to nil in their first group game. Who scored five in that match?

8) In December 2019, Arsenal Women beat Bristol City Women 11-1, setting a record for the highest-scoring game in the FAWSL. Which Arsenal striker also broke her own record in that game with an astonishing six goals and four assists before being subbed off?

9) The previous record for the highest-scoring game in the FAWSL had been a 9-0 victory for Liverpool in August 2013 against which famous and groundbreaking Yorkshire side?

10) November 2019 saw the Italian Under-18 side Invictasauro beat Marina Calcio 27-0, which caused a bit of moral and ethical controversy amongst officials of the winning club. What happened to Invictasauro’s manager as a result of this scoreline and the ensuing debate?

11) In January 2019, Manchester City scored nine in the first leg of their League Cup semi-final against a League One side who were definitely punching above their weight in the competition that season. The result led to some debate about the ‘fairness’ of big clubs beating smaller opposition by such margins. Who were City’s well-defeated opponents in this game?

12) In April 2001, the Australian national side broke international records by scoring 53 goals over two matches only two days apart in their qualifying campaign for the 2002 World Cup. Which TWO countries were clearly not having a g’day against the Aussies?

13) The 2014 World Cup produced a game which, although comparatively low scoring compared to some of the matches mentioned here, came as just as much of a shock. Which revered multiple World Cup winners completely lost the plot in their semi-final against Germany and conceded an absolutely unheard-of seven goals?

14) However, this wasn’t the highest-scoring game in a World Cup finals – that came in a 1982 group stage match, when El Salvador were beaten 10-1 by which grand old European footballing nation?

15) We’ll end with what is probably the most incredible scoreline in football history. Halloween 2002 was a spooky experience for the Madagascan team SO L’Emyrne, who lost their league game against AS Adema by 149 goals to nil. Yep, that’s 149-0. Really. While this is undoubtedly a record, it’s not technically an official one. Why?

Good luck!

The ASRV Fiendish Quarantine Quiz – Part Two

multicolored soccer ball on green field
Photo by Pixabay on

CB writes…

How many of these questions can you answer correctly? Comment with your answers or tweet them. Results soon!

1) They are the oldest professional football club in the world and were founder members of the Football League. Sadly, they were relegated from said Football League at the end of the 2018-19 season. Who are they?

2) In November 2019, Liverpool’s Roberto Firmino had a goal disallowed by VAR for offside. According to the VAR officials, which part of his body made him offside?

3) In September 2019, FC Union Berlin striker Sebastian Polter managed to do what in the space of only five minutes?

4) Which ex-Arsenal player is well known for his social media posts featuring his two (adorable) dogs, Atom and Humber?

5) And which ex-Liverpool player’s pet Lucci was ‘dognapped’ during a burglary at his Los Angeles house in 2019?

6) Which of the England Lionesses is famed for her ‘spectacles’ goal celebration?

7) In the 2018-19 season, which team clinched a European place for the first time since 1981 in their first season back in the Premier League for six years?

8) Which Championship manager is famous for his blue bucket?

9) In November 2019, Manchester City played Italian side Atalanta in the group stage of the UEFA Champions League. City’s goalkeeper Ederson was subbed off at half time due to an injury, and his replacement, Claudio Bravo, was sent off in the 81st minute. Which outfield player then became their third goalkeeper of the night (and managed to keep a clean sheet)?

10) Which Premier League manager has a pub named after him?

11) In 1872, England and Scotland played the first official international match in history. Almost 150 years later in 2019, England played their 1000th international – against which nation?

12) Controversial referee Mike Dean has been accused of favouring all sorts of clubs over the years, most notoriously Spurs. Which team does he actually support?

13) They both played for Leeds United and they both played for Spurs. They’ve now teamed up to manage a Championship side in the North East of England. Who are they?

14) The new Wembley Stadium can proudly boast over 2000 of them, more than any other stadium in the world. What are they?

15) In April 1937, a Scotland international match drew what is still a European record crowd of almost 150,000 fans to Hampden Park in Glasgow. Who were the opposition?

16) Which Welsh football ground holds the record for being the world’s oldest international stadium that still holds international matches AND the record for hosting the most Wales international games?

17) Which famous Dublin GAA ground was controversially used between 2007-10 as a temporary home for the Republic of Ireland national football team while the Aviva Stadium was being built?

18) Which unusually named football ground in Belfast is the oldest in Northern Ireland?

19) Which Portland Thorns and Canada player is not only her country’s most capped active player but also holds the Canadian record for most international assists and is the world’s highest-scoring player (male or female) of all time?

20) The first FA Cup final to be held at the original Wembley Stadium was in April 1923 when Bolton Wanderers took on West Ham in front of a huge crowd – so huge that it spilled onto the pitch, necessitating police involvement. This gave rise to the popular nickname for the match, by which it is still known nearly 100 years later. What is that nickname?

Good luck!



The ASRV Fiendish Quarantine Quiz – Part One

brindle and white puppy playing ball on grass field
Photo by Dids on

CB writes…

How are you all doing out there? I hope you and your loved ones are safe at home and are staying healthy. Like many of you, I’m missing the football, so I decided to put together a couple of quizzes to distract you all from its absence, for five minutes at least!

Here’s the first quiz, and it goes back to the subject of animals. It’s quite amazing how many footballers and football teams have animal-related nicknames, so here’s a selection for you to take a guess at. Some of these are very easy, some not so easy, and, of course, some are downright fiendish…

Names marked with a * have more than one possible correct answer. You can leave your answers in a comment here or tweet me at ASRV – good luck and much love!


1) The Pitbull

2) The Atomic Ant

3) King Kong

4) Paul the Octopus

5) The Flea

6) El Scorpion

7) The Swan of Utrecht

8) Angelo the Eel

9) The Ostrich

10) Cobra

11) The Rooster

12) The Cat From Anzing

13) The Boar

14) The Black Panther

15) The Tiger*

16) The Mosquito*

17) Moose

18) The Little Seal

19) The Bull*

20) The Piranha*



1) The Eagles

2) The Buffalos

3) The Cod Army

4) The Zebras*

5) The Beavers

6) The Canaries*

7) The Mastiffs

8) The Bluebirds*

9) The Flying Donkeys

10) The Hornets

11) The Gulls

12) The Big Grass Snake

13) The Black Cats

14) The Anchovies

15) The Budgies

16) The Wasps

17) The Green Crocodiles

18) The Moles

19) The Pigeons

20) The Bees*

Many thanks to the @SSPreds Gang, who inspired me to get quizzing again…

Happy New Year from ASRV!

‘Happy 1971 to Juventus’ fans by Roberto Tancredi, Pietro Anastasi, Helmut Haller and Massimo Piloni’ (Un felice 1971 ai tifosi bianconeri)

Staying with Juventus for a little while to wish you all a very happy new year from ASRV. We’re not entirely sure what’s going on here, but this rather fab pic of Roberto Tancredi, Pietro Anastasi, Helmut Haller and Massimo Piloni was taken by the club to wish the Bianconeri fans a happy 1971.

Whoever you support, we hope you had a great festive season and your hangover isn’t too bad – and all your footballing wishes come true in 2020…

Celebrate good times…

Embed from Getty Images

CB writes…

I’m absolutely loving the Women’s World Cup so far (apart from the pervasive sexism that’s still hanging around like a bad smell, eg: the suggestion of smaller goals. Don’t be daft). There is much to celebrate from the Group Stage nonetheless.

The Lionesses are through to the Round of 16 with a game to spare, the USWNT can’t stop scoring, Thailand started scoring (hooray!), Chile’s outstanding goalkeeper Christiane Endler (below) has shown herself to be a total badass, and Brazil’s Marta….well, Marta is an absolute legend.

“The party’s over there!” Chile’s Christiane Endler knows the score.

Her perfectly-taken penalty in yesterday’s game places her right at the top of the all-time overall World Cup scoring table with 17 goals in her five tournaments – one more than Germany’s Miroslav Klose. She’s on another level, no question of that.

Marta may be one of the greatest players of all time, but we’re glad to see she’s not immune to a silly goal celebration (below), making a brave effort to kiss her magical right boot while still wearing it after her record-breaking penalty against Italy last night!

The Italians were celebrating too, having also reached the Round of 16. The joyous picture of captain Sara Gama being given the bumps (above) by her team-mates beautifully captures the spirit and feeling of this tournament. Everyone seems to be having an absolute blast.

Long may the party continue!

Embed from Getty Images

Mascot Monday: Ettie (Women’s World Cup 2019)

Embed from Getty Images

The Women’s World Cup begins on Friday in France, so it seemed like a good idea to celebrate that on Mascot Monday! If you have any suggestions for future editions, get in touch.

Name: Ettie

Age: 15 (according to FIFA)

Tournament: Women’s World Cup 2019, France

Mascot Since: 2018

Species: Chicken

Friends & Family: Ettie’s dad is Footix (below, as immortalised on an Albanian stamp), the cheery blue rooster who you’ll remember as the celebrated mascot of France ’98 if you’re of a certain age.

Screenshot_2019-05-31 Stamp Mascot Footix (Albania) (Football World Cup 1998, France) Mi AL BL113,Sn AL 2564,Yt AL BF88,Sg [...]

She’s also been seen hanging out in Moscow with Zabivaka, the wolf mascot from last year’s World Cup – they went sightseeing and did a photo session together, apparently.

Notes: Like her mysterious English cousin Lily, Ettie is a chicken who loves football (unlike this one) – but in many ways she’s the opposite to Lily, in that we know quite a bit about her. FIFA have given her a cute little back story:

[Her] name comes from the French word for star, étoile, as she came from the bright star that her father Footix was awarded for the 1998 FIFA World Cup. Footix cast his star far into the night sky so it could shine brightly, and after a few years of travelling through the cosmos it came back to him in the form of his twinkling daughter, ettie.

Footix knew immediately that ettie was very special, not only because of her sparkling personality that would radiate happiness and joy to everyone she met, but because they shared a real passion for football.

Like father, like daughter, it seems. Good luck Ettie!


Brian Clough, Peter Shilton and a roundabout way of winning in Europe

Embed from Getty Images

In 1980, Brian Clough (below) took Nottingham Forest to their second European Cup triumph in as many seasons. Like the Spurs side of nearly forty years later, Forest had beaten Ajax in their semi to reach the final in Madrid (although the 1980 final was held at the Santiago Bernabéu).

Preperation for such a big match can sometimes be fraught with problems, especially if you are a perfectionist in the same way that Cloughie undoubtedly was. This excellent tale, as told by the legendary Forest and England goalkeeper Peter Shilton (above), possibly explains a lot about Old Big ‘Ead’s more… er… unconventional problem solving methods:

When we got to Madrid, [assistant manager] Peter Taylor told me we had a great training pitch, but it was too hard. ‘You haven’t looked hard enough,’ Cloughie told us. ‘We know a grassed area that’s perfect.’ I couldn’t believe what Taylor was pointing at: we were standing in front of a roundabout, near the city centre, and on it was a circle of grass. It was fairly quiet, but a few cars came past, beeping horns.

Whether or not the roundabout actually had any impact on the eventual outcome of the final is unknown (probably not, or we’d be seeing Alisson and Hugo Lloris preparing for this season’s trip to Madrid in the same way!), but Forest won, beating Germany’s Hamburger SV by a single first half goal scored by John Robertson. In the end, Shilton was left with roundabout nothing to do.

Brian Clough

No, I don’t think he looks very impressed either…